Since this is the 18th blog for joke story,how about I post the adult jokes 18+,would you guys like it?
1. A
young boy and his grandfather were sitting outside enjoying the summer
breeze. The boys grandfather pulled out a cigar, lit it, and puffed away
contently. The boy looked at his grandfather and asked if he could take
a puff. The grandfather replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" to
which the boy responded, "No sir." "Then you are not old enough" the
grandfather snapped back.
A few minutes later
the grandfather pulled a beer out of his cooler, and took a sip. The
boy asked if he could try the beer. The grandfather replied, "Can your
dick touch your ass?" to which the boy responded, "No sir." Grandpa
huffed. "Then you are not old enough." The boy gave up and ran inside
the house to go play.
An hour later the boy came outside with a plate of
cookies. The grandfather asked the boy, "Can I have a cookie?" The boy
replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" Grandpa laughed. "Hell yeah, my
dick can touch my ass."
The boy smirked. "Then go fuck yourself,
grandma made these cookies for me."
2. He
gets to the first house and a man greets him at the door with a very
expensive bottle of wine and thanks him for his service. He arrives at
the next house and is greeted by the entire family with a box of Cuban
cigars and everyone wishes him a happy retirement.
He arrives at the
third house where he is greeted by a gorgeous blonde with see through
lingerie on. She leads him upstairs where they make
love for an hour. When they're done she takes him downstairs where she
cooks him a breakfast of pancakes,eggs and squeezed orange juice. As
he's eating she gives him a card with $20 in it.
He's
overwhelmed by all this and asks why. The blonde tells him You've been
an amazing mailman over the years and when I heard you were retiring I
asked my husband what we should do for you. He replied"Fuck him. Give
him $20" The Breakfast was my idea.
3.
As he
approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you
seeing the doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis,"
he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't
come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You
asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist
replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment
in this room full of people. You should have said there is something
wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further
with the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited a few minutes
and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?'
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The receptionist
nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "
And
what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't piss out of it..."
4. A man
comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn't had sex with him
for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can
talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks
her what's wrong, and why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband
anymore.
The wife tells him, "For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don't have any money
so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' so I
take a 'or what'. When I get to work I'm late so the boss asks me, 'So
are we going to write this down in the book or what?' so I take a 'or
what'. Back home again I take the cab and again I don't have any money
so the cab driver asks me again, 'So are you going to pay this time or
what?' so again I take a 'or what'. So you see doc when I get home I'm
all tired out, and I don't want it any more."
The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, "So are we going to tell your husband or what?"
5. A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on
the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon
re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied: 'Your Horse is on the phone!!!
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